It’s Not Chicken

Um….if I tell you something, will you promise not to judge me?  Or at least, only judge me silently, in your mind, while smiling and giving me ice cream?  Cuz, uhhh…you know that place down the street?  Yeah, That Place.  That Place that has That Thing.  Well, last night?  Last night I went there and [...]

Whitman Sampler of MY BRAIN

1.  Do people truly care about what’s on the hot lunch menu at Sidwell Friends?  Really?  HEY!  TEACHAH!  LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE! 2.  I hate finding a big ol’ ‘NO’ in my email inbox on a Monday,  Monday NOes are like a little stumpy toothless man crouched in the corner, shaking his jowls at me [...]

Dead Head

In the store, the food store, just cruising through and suddenly got this weird feeling…like someone was watching me, judging the way I handle products then put them back, so I turned, and – YELLO THERE!!!  Pig heads.  Yes.  Whole PIG HEADS, with snout, ears, eyes.  In the frozen meat case, in amongst the tiny [...]

Loose Lips

There’s a slight proportional doubt enveloping my noggin about the whole concept of sharing.  As in, “Thanks for sharing.”  Both sarcastic (“Um, thanks for sharing“) and sincere (“Thanks so much for sharing that with me”).  I guess this also deals with questions about how fast or slow you can authentically get to know someone, how [...]

Strike Three

Blockbuster Video is run by a bunch of dickwit nimnuts. MYH has never seen The Shining, so we went to rent it, and guess what?  Some bag of dicks decided that this classic film directed by genius Stanley Kubrick needed to be REMADE by some douche named Mick or Dick or Fick – and this [...]

Your What In The Who Now?

Grad school is kee-razy with the social activities. Who knew? Very strange, quite unorthodox.  How am I supposed to write my masterpiece if I’m constantly going to play basketball with the poets and fiction writers and dancing at 80s Night with the playwrights?   All this flittering about leaves little time for tortured writing sessions [...]

APB: Missing Muse

Medium size muse, big eater, likely to be slightly tipsy and cranky, missing since July 2006.  If sighted DO NOT SPEAK TO HER, as she is prone to spitting or disappearing in a pouf (a cream pouf, from a certain bakery in Seattle).  Please proceed by emitting low ostrich-calming sounds with the back of your [...]

Keep Off The Grass

Because there are about five kazillion pet owners who walk their doggie families down the greenbelt path everyday, and I see what they DO on the grass.  Or DOO.  And though that lot gets scooped, there is also the tremendous amount of canine tinkling to consider.  So before you go for a roll in the [...]

Shake, Shake, Shake

Seriously cannot shake the anxiety cloud.  It is following me around like I’m Charlie Brown.  I realize that this does not make for the most scintillating of posts, but you know what?  I cannot be scintillating for you all the time.  Sometimes those clothes are in the wash, you know.  You will just have to [...]