Vaya Con Dios, Norton

As in “anthology.”  As in, Norton Anthology of World Masterpieces, Norton Anthology of American Literature, and Norton Anthology of English Literature Volumes One and Two.  And this is how I know I have a problem.
For those of you not familiar with the Nortons, they are not the most charming of books.  Heavy, chunky, ultra-thin Scripture-like [...]

Episode 38: In Which The Words “Ass” and “Packing” Appear In What Some May Deem Too Close A Proximity

I can’t go into what’s taken me so long to get back to the hedgehog, my dears.  Nay.  Suffice it to say, I have phantom-kicked Ralph Nader, Howard Schultz, and David Stern in their respective baby-makers with the amount of force in keeping with douchebaggery of the acts they have committed.
Now.
We’re moving.  Again.  To Austin. [...]

Old Dog Tries New Trick, Sprains Ass

Well, I’m trying anyway.    
First of all, I now wake up with the birds.  And then I actually get up, and start to get about my day.  A monumental shift in my habits, which for the better part of my life have involved witnessing the station sign-off for all of the major networks.  But [...]

Because I Am Twelve

I will tell you that as I was signing in just now, I accidentally typed “manho” in stead of “mango” and it made me snort water out my nose.
Manho!  Heeheeheeeee!

Bureau of Missing

I miss my grandma today.  There was a commercial on t.v. last night, an ad for this printer thingy that connects to the internet and prints out e-mails, pictures, and what have you (I know, I know - Byebye trees!  Thanks for the oxygen!) without a computer.  So it’s a device for people who don’t [...]