Breath Circumference

Last night on the subway.  Dude next to me.  A noxious breath circumference of at least two feet.  Thank god for the pashmina in which to bury my nose. Lovely peoples of the subway!  Be aware!  Please remember to floss and brush!  Your teeth and gums will thank you, as will the cranky lady seated [...]

Donner, Party Of Two?

It’s all pioneer days up in here, y’all.  Lose the dead weight!  Throw it out of the wagon so we can get across the damn river!  And Grammy!  Toss her ass to the – (well, not the curb, now would it be) – to the prairie grasses!  ASS to the GRASS, old woman!! Seriously. I [...]

Nature Has A Big Fat Yap

Crows.  CROWS.  At each and every moment of the day, CROWS.  Yelling.  Hanging by their claws from the trees outside our windows, yelling at each other, at passersby, at dogs of the passersby, at babies in strollers, at other birds, at the wind, at the leaves, at whatever.  No big distinctions between things that might [...]

A Twinge (Or A Fork) In My Conscience

A fork in the conscience is better than one in the eye.  Of course that made no sense, of course it didn’t. This is my point, which I actually haven’t made yet, but will now: I have been lurking on my own blog.  What happened was our hard drive went all apeshit and demanded overtime [...]

Because I Am Twelve

I will tell you that as I was signing in just now, I accidentally typed “manho” in stead of “mango” and it made me snort water out my nose. Manho!  Heeheeheeeee!

Worship The ‘Tato Salad

I’m crawling on my hands and knees, just oozing across the floor to the computer to tell you that I just ate some potato salad that was so good, it curled my hair and rehabilitated my shitty attitude.  At least temporarily.  This particular ‘tato salad came from Whole Foods, and we all know what that [...]

Stick That In Your Sinkhole

How about that ravenous sinkhole in Texas?  Eating all that oil-drilling equipment, my, my. Any words, Rev. Hagee?  God’s judgement on Texas for what hidden sin?  

All Over The Map

For those of you who have stopped by hoping for substantive content, who have, indeed, continued to stop by, day after day, waiting for me to post something that means something, anything (to anybody, anywhere), wishing with all your might that, yes, maybe today, this day, this Monday of the new week, of a new [...]

Supers

Why are there so many current and upcoming movies about super-hero types?  Ironman, Wanted, The Dark Knight, Hancock, Speed Racer, and another re-make of The Incredible Hulk to name a few.   I’m not complaining, I’m just wondering about the zeitgeist, you know, getting a little one-track-minded, or maybe someone hijacking the zeitgeist with these [...]

Another Useless But Chewy Morsel

My aging skin is suddenly like the playdough of the world.  Any texture that touches me, even for a brief second, leaves an exquisitely detailed impression on my skin, which lasts longer than I really think is necessary to prove the point.  I’m thinking of hiring myself out as a human relief map.  Or I [...]