The Short List:
(There is a Long List, but due to my humanitarian leanings, I refrain from sharing it with you.)
1. Book reduction underway. Failing utterly. My powers are weak. The Force is not strong with me.
2. Someone tried to scam us on Craigslist. I, being a sucker but not a fool, opened my jaws, but [...]
Filed under: Bring Grammy A Bourbon | Tagged: barking spider, book ho, scammy-wam | 2 Comments »
Starting small, trying to lull myself into a false sense of security. Sold my desk yesterday to a very sweet Korean family. Not too attached to this desk, only had it for a year. Today begins the real task - dealing with all the many, many boxes which lurk with sharpened teeth in our storage [...]
Filed under: Bring Grammy A Bourbon | Tagged: shutup, YOU do, you drink too much | No Comments »
Seriously.
Eat them.
My shorts.
And have a knuckle samwich and nice surface-to-ass missile while you’re at it.
Filed under: Bring Grammy A Bourbon, Political-ish | Tagged: ass, eat, Karl | No Comments »
Eat my shorts.
Filed under: Bring Grammy A Bourbon, Political-ish | Tagged: eat, fucknut, shorts | 2 Comments »
I can’t go into what’s taken me so long to get back to the hedgehog, my dears. Nay. Suffice it to say, I have phantom-kicked Ralph Nader, Howard Schultz, and David Stern in their respective baby-makers with the amount of force in keeping with douchebaggery of the acts they have committed.
Now.
We’re moving. Again. To Austin. [...]
Filed under: Backstage Pass, Bring Grammy A Bourbon, Things About Me | Tagged: ass, bourbon, herniated left cheek, packing, scotch | 4 Comments »
Ralph? Raaaalllppphhh? Just what exactly is it that you think you are doing? All right. I’m a go read some shit, about what you said and shit, and when I get that shit straight, I’m a come back here and have some words with you. Siddown and try not to get another Republican elected President [...]
Filed under: Bring Grammy A Bourbon, Political-ish | Tagged: goddammit ralph! | No Comments »
Well, I’m trying anyway.
First of all, I now wake up with the birds. And then I actually get up, and start to get about my day. A monumental shift in my habits, which for the better part of my life have involved witnessing the station sign-off for all of the major networks. But [...]
Filed under: Bring Grammy A Bourbon, Grammy's Miracle-Ear, Things About Me | Tagged: old lady, ass, i am not the dog, am i? oh, I am. | 3 Comments »
That voice, you know, the one who likes to come around right when you’re attempting to drag your ass out of the lost and found, and do your fucking writing like you said you would. The voice that likes to perch on your left frontal lobe and fuck with your language skills. Yeahhhhh, that one. [...]
Filed under: Bring Grammy A Bourbon | Tagged: scaly monsters who knit | No Comments »
Listen up, all you big-mouthed fuckhumps: please stop peppering your sputtering speech with the word “appeasement” when you have no fuckworthy idea what that word actually means. Otherwise, I will send Chris Matthews to verbally yank your gooberpooping lips off your face by exposing your utter lack of understanding.
Thank you.
Filed under: Bring Grammy A Bourbon, Political-ish | Tagged: gooberpoopers | No Comments »
Just heard this on MSNBC (addicted! can’t! stop! watching! yaaaaaggghh!): Mike Huckabee speaking to the NRA in Louisville, making a joke about an offstage noise being Barack Obama dodging a gunman.
Here is the quote as reported by CNN:
“That was Barack Obama, he just tripped off a chair, he’s getting ready to speak,” said the former [...]
Filed under: Bring Grammy A Bourbon, Political-ish | Tagged: Fucked up, fucking fuck fuck, WTF | 1 Comment »
