It’s all pioneer days up in here, y’all. Lose the dead weight! Throw it out of the wagon so we can get across the damn river! And Grammy! Toss her ass to the – (well, not the curb, now would it be) – to the prairie grasses! ASS to the GRASS, old woman!!
Seriously.
I tell ya. I’ve been ruthless, all day, just – completely without ruth, and hoo! My dogs are barkin’, yo. Exhausting to be the Scourge of La Jolla. Exhausting, but necessary. Sometimes there’s no substitute for a good ol’ scourge. Maybe not as discriminating as one would prefer, perhaps a bit overzealous (“When I said ‘Throw everything off the wagon,’ what part of EVERYTHING did you not understand? How about “My boot up your ass”? Understand that???) but gets the job done.
And so, via various self-threatening techniques, I have reduced the number of books in my possession by…well, maybe a third. Which is not half (for those of you who are following along mathematically). Ahem. But, I would like to point out that I DID reduce the number of boxes of books by half. Magic! I will leave you to ponder this magical feat of engineering, for I must now hobble into the bedroom where I will wrap a hot towel around my head and sleep the sleep of the just about.
Filed under: Another Roadside Attraction, Detritus | Tagged: bring me scotch, more scotch, scotch
