Crows. CROWS. At each and every moment of the day, CROWS. Yelling. Hanging by their claws from the trees outside our windows, yelling at each other, at passersby, at dogs of the passersby, at babies in strollers, at other birds, at the wind, at the leaves, at whatever. No big distinctions between things that might actually like to eat and or otherwise fuck up their shit and the rest of us who are just trying to walk to the store to buy radishes. Glossy-feathered stickfuckers.
I’ve taken to shouting at them through the window. ”Hey! Shutup, stupid crow! Shutup, you big baby! Shut UP!”
They don’t care. They look at me for a moment, and I can see them memorizing my face. ”You. You of the broad mouth which stretches itself against me. You will I remember, long and lo these many years, and verily wilt I smite thee on thy path toward the Safeway, with gnashing and wailing and mighty pecks upon thy Mariner’s cap.”
Honestly - why are crows such avian douchebags? Why such douchey behavior? You don’t see the mourning doves screeching obscenities at joggers at 5:00am.
Anyway, I’m supposed to be writing, but whatever. Best years of my life slipping (slipped?) away, whatevs. At least I’m not standing outside someone’s window, hollering, “Yawwgghh! Yaw! Yaw! Yaw! YAWWGGGHH!!!!”
Yet.
Filed under: Detritus | Tagged: procrastination only hurts YOU, stupid crows
