WTF, Ralph???

Ralph?  Raaaalllppphhh?  Just what exactly is it that you think you are doing?  All right.  I’m a go read some shit, about what you said and shit, and when I get that shit straight, I’m a come back here and have some words with you.  Siddown and try not to get another Republican elected President [...]

Old Dog Tries New Trick, Sprains Ass

Well, I’m trying anyway.    
First of all, I now wake up with the birds.  And then I actually get up, and start to get about my day.  A monumental shift in my habits, which for the better part of my life have involved witnessing the station sign-off for all of the major networks.  But [...]

Fear Knits A Sweater

That voice, you know, the one who likes to come around right when you’re attempting to drag your ass out of the lost and found, and do your fucking writing like you said you would.  The voice that likes to perch on your left frontal lobe and fuck with your language skills.  Yeahhhhh, that one. [...]

Nature Has A Big Fat Yap

Crows.  CROWS.  At each and every moment of the day, CROWS.  Yelling.  Hanging by their claws from the trees outside our windows, yelling at each other, at passersby, at dogs of the passersby, at babies in strollers, at other birds, at the wind, at the leaves, at whatever.  No big distinctions between things that might [...]

A List Of Shit I Am Doing Instead Of Writing

1.  Washed the dishes: 2 plates, 1 coffee mug, 1 fork, 1 knife, a spatula, 1 glass, a small frying pan, 2 bowls.
2.  Took a shower.
3.  Attempted to de-stink my boxing gloves.
4.  Moisturized.
5.  Ate some leftover lasagna.
6.  Wiped kitchen counters.
7.  Moisturized.
8.  Surfed the blogroll, posted comments, watched a Daily Show video.
9.  Sighed heavily.
10.  Posted bullshit [...]

Back From The Edge For A Long Goodbye

‘Sup, homes.  We flew back into our regularly scheduled lives this past Friday, only to find that the world had gone to HELL in a farking HANDBASKET while we were away.  And before I regale you with tales of the swim-up bar and the Pacific Ocean crashing against the sand mere metres away from our [...]

Going Again

We’re off to Cabo!  Woohoo!  Swim up bar, here we come.  Ah, yes.
I’ll be back with a full report, and maybe even pictures, if I can figure out how to post them.

A Twinge (Or A Fork) In My Conscience

A fork in the conscience is better than one in the eye.  Of course that made no sense, of course it didn’t. This is my point, which I actually haven’t made yet, but will now:
I have been lurking on my own blog.  What happened was our hard drive went all apeshit and demanded overtime pay [...]