Bathroom or Library?

Um…..pardon me if this offends your delicate sensibilities, but why do people keep reading materials in the bathroom?  I mean, I just don’t get how, um, IT could take so long that you need to have in-flight entertainment in the form of magazines and even books.  I mean…how long does it TAKE?  And how much [...]

Denounce:Reject :: Crapass:Asscrap

Good god almighty - it’s like the farking GRE up in here, Hillary.  Jeezus murphy jones, lady.  I know you’re on the ropes, I know you’re a fighter, and I know you have to do something about the Mighty O, but DA-YUM.  
 This is the kind of shit - this and the sniping and sarcasm and [...]

The Soft Lullaby of Automotive Transportation

‘Tis evening in traffic-blighted SoCal, and here I sit, sipping Yogi tea (tastes like peppery ass) at the keyboard, contemplating the “in sickness” part of that whole hitched-up dealio.  Passed on the upper respiratory scourge to MYH.  Poor kid.  Now he has to sip ass tea, too.  He’s currently in bed, enjoying the soft, furry [...]

Coughing Is Weaponized Breath

I’m taking MYH’s car in to the dealer to get serviced (Oh, the sweet irony - wait, what?  Nevermind.), and if’n they try to get cute with me, you know what?  I’m a COUGH ALL OVER THE MUHFUCKERS. 

Episode 16: In Which Events Unfold - Irrevocably, Tragically, and With Great Hair

Grammy’s coughing like a bull seal during mating season, y’all.  So here’s a bit of entertainment for you until I’ve stopped horking and hacking long enough to compose a real post.
Overheard in a bar, late at night:
HE:  So…what are you saying?
Long silence.  Running of hands through hair. 
SHE:  I don’t know, I…I just feel like I’ve [...]

Wicked sick

Sorry about the lack of Gramminess, loved ones.  Grammy has been laid low by her tonsils, which have swollen to testicular proportions despite many applications of Theraflu and Maker’s.  
I’ll be back soon.  Don’t forget to slop the hogs and get Fredo to move that riding mower under the porch before it rains and there’s [...]

Let’s all just BE COOL

Easy there, Demo-superdelegates.  Eeeeaaasssy, now.  Let’s all just take a deep breath, and not get panicky.  Think of those record numbers of people flooding the polling places, of some actually running out of ballots.  Think of the attention being generated and let the people have their say.   And remember, if you make us feel [...]

V-Day Wisdom

Think about it.  It makes sense, no?  

In the interest of full disclosure

Just so you know, I am in full-metal-jacket procrastination mode at the current moment.  There is a large task crouching by my desk, growling deep and soft, drooling application forms and figures, and the shredded remnants of whole villages it has devoured without let or hindrance.  
Stop staring at me, Large Task!  I fear not [...]

Help! I Think I Have Traction Alopecia!

Been wondering again about the consistently large gobs of hair in the shower drain catcher every day.  Thinking about how many wigs I could make if I saved up over a few months, or even weeks.  
And then, whilst parting my hair last night, I found….a BALD spot.  Whoa, nellie.  And then I found this [...]